People go on dates for different reasons; to find a love interest, to figure out if said interest is compatible with one’s goals and ambition, or, you know, just for pure enjoyment!
Today, I’m not just a writer, I am your friend, and as your friend, it is my duty to make sure you’re mentally prepped for that first date! 😉
Let’s talk RED FLAGS! (Cue dramatic intro… dun dun duuuuuuun 🚨)
- The “Na Only Me Waka Come” Mentality (A.K.A. Narcissism)
This one is the President General of all red flags, the Oga Kpatakpata of the “everything is about me” nation! Imagine someone who thinks the world is their personal stage and everyone else is just an extra in their movie. If you’re on a date and all you hear is “I,” “me,” “my achievements,” “my problems,” “my brilliance,” and they don’t even bother to ask if you’ve eaten… my friend, look left, look right, and JAPA! Flee! Run like your village people are chasing you! - The “Wahala Dey Too Much” Gist (A.K.A. Trauma Dumping) 😔
Yes, I understand that sharing certain events and experiences is how we get to know someone deeper. But tell me why ten minutes into the date, I already know that your cousin sister’s mother’s friend’s dog is deaf in one ear and their landlord’s son is a full-blown yahoo boy! Sharing too much heavy, traumatic gist in such a short time can be a huge burden on the listener. It’s like pouring a whole bucket of ogbono soup on someone who just wanted a taste. And please, let’s also shine our own eyes so we don’t become the “Wahala Dey Too Much” gist-givers ourselves! Don’t be that person!! - Rude, Ruder, Rudiest, and Just Plain Disrespectful People
This one is simple. You need to take proper note of how they treat everyone around them – from the waiter, to even the gate man, even how they talk about their ex or their family members. If they’re talking down to people, making rude remarks, or just generally acting like a ‘boss,’ that’s a serious red flag. Shine your eyes! Open your ears! If they can be rude to strangers, one day it will reach you too. - Compliments vs. “Our Future Children’s Names” (A.K.A. Love Bombing)
When someone says, “I love spending time with you,” that’s a sweet compliment. But when someone says, on the first date, “I can’t wait till we’re married and have two twins, two triplets, and a farm in Jalingo, and you’re the only person who understands my soul!” Ahh! Listen closely, my friend! There’s a big difference between genuine compliments that build connection and love bombing,If it feels too good to be true, my dear, it probably is. E get why! - Gratitude: “Thank You” No Go Kill Person!
It might seem small, but trust me, it makes all the difference! After all, this is someone you’d hopefully want to spend a good chunk of your precious time with. When the “thank you’s” flow, the love grows, and where complaints reside, the love dries! Show appreciation, give thanks, even for the little things. It shows respect and a good heart.
I’ve become such a poet! See my rhymes😂
Now, let’s not leave this to me. I want to know some red flags YOU look out for as well! Let me learn from your wisdom and judgment.
What else makes you say, “Omo, I’m not doing again!” After a first date? Let’s hear it!- Eseoghene ♥️
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