When I step into the room my eyes search for you. And when I see you smiling excitedly at me, my heart thumps erratically. I fake it till it becomes true; my confidence around you.
When we crack jokes and I randomly compliment you to catch you off guard, I see the way you glance at me. You say we’re friends, but friends don’t just hold hands for hours, or rest on each other for hours, or never want to leave each other, or kiss each other on the cheek.
Friends don’t have their gazes linger on each other, with chests rising and lips parting. I don’t want to believe that it works that way, that I could just tell you I fell for you, but I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have by telling you that I don’t see you as a friend.
How can I call you my friend when I get jealous? When I memorize your scent? When I look for you? When I want to be around you always?
All this yearning when our knees brush under the seat and we leave it that way, or when we hit a high five and proceed to hold hands from there.
I want a different sign than you pulling my cheeks and grinning, or you leaning into me casually but telling everyone that we’re really close friends.
I want to be more to you.
I want to tell you I love you.
I don’t want to be your friend. I want to lock eyes with you so that all that matters to me is you. I want to hold your hand and pinch myself to see that I’m not dreaming because you’re my girl.
This is us: GIVĒON – Like I Want You (Official Music Video) – YouTube
It’s hard being “just friends.”- torivee
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