INTO YOU

Into You inspired by Ariana grande’s Into You from the “flirty confessions” playlist.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0hPkzyyKME7wAcOGLEvAAp?si=cX81R5OxS22By5CW7aVOig&pi=oCsWPbMlQv-mQ

I watched you pass by me every day without a word.
It wasn’t your scent, your smile, or even just your beauty.
It was the way you politely smiled at everyone.
The seriousness in your eyes when you study or answer questions in class.

Your selflessness, to people who didn’t deserve it.
People who didn’t deserve you.
I don’t deserve you either.

But how long can I hide that I’m into you?

The way you get goofy for, and with, your friends,
putting smiles on their faces even when it burns you out.
I want to carry everything with you.
Make others happy, if that’s what makes you happy.

You’re the most random girl I’ve ever met.
But not so random anymore—at least, not to me.
Saying hi to you for the first time at the faculty club
was the bravest thing I’ve ever done.

And I’m bold. Loud.
But when it comes to you, I have to be careful—
because you could consume me whole.
You are the burning fire.

I didn’t assist with events,
or torture students with you,
or run academic errands because it made me happy.
I did it because you’d smile whenever I eased your burden.
It’s that easy to want to be your friend.

But how long do I remain just “the good friend”?

If only you knew how overjoyed I was when I heard you were single. I didn’t know why I felt giddy inside. In my delusional head, there was a chance for me. Or not.

Do I keep being selfless like you? What if someone else steals your heart away?
Or do I finally get greedy—
and tell you that I want more? I don’t want to mistake your kindness for love. Your sweetness for deep affection.

Even so,

I want to hug you like a lover, not a friend.
I don’t want just high-fives or fist bumps.
I want to hold your hand.

I’ve never felt like this before.
I just wanted you to know…
I’m so into you.

I guess this piece of paper will have to be the one who bears knowledge to this secret of mine. At least if you never get to know, paper does.

I’ll continue to remain the “good friend” until I can bring myself to tell you.- Tori