MY NECK. MY HEART. SAME DIFFERENCE

#SOULFULSUNDAYS

Let’s talk rituals and affirmations today shall we? ✨ Or not? Okay, let’s talk healing instead. 😅

Now if we’re talking about healing, I’ll talk about something I might have spoken about in my other blog, but this time around, I’ll focus on love — because that’s what this blog is all about, right? 💌

My first heartbreak.
Not gonna lie, it happened for me in secondary school. I mean, I’ve had another major heartbreak 💔 but let me gist y’all about that first one and how I handled or mishandled it.

So I was in my final year in secondary school and I was obsessed with this particular boy. Let’s call him Temi. As at that time, we had known each other for two years… and I had been obsessed with him for two whole years .

Yes yes, I know. I suck. You don’t have to tell me twice. I was younggggggg. He was fine 🤤. He was tall and could sing and was really nice. I had imagined so many times that we’d end up together and because both of us could sing, we’d make music together. I even re-enacted award shows we’d win together in my room 😭 and so many other things I’m not going to start telling y’all here for the sake of my dignity 😭.

Now, I knew there was some other girl he liked, but what I kept telling myself was that “oh she’s not in the same school as we are, so he’d barely see her,” and I was the one he was seeing regularly, right? Great. So I thought I had a chance. 🙃

Come first term final year, the girl came with a group of people to my school for some camp event. So now he’d be seeing her quite often and rumor had it that he still had a huge thing for her 👀.

Let me tell y’all, I criedddddddddd 😭. Like, I cried through the night, slept on my neck and when I woke up the following Sunday, my neck was hanging on one side 💀. I kid you not. I literally broke or sprained or whatever it is — my neck because of a boy I was in love with… who was in love with another girl I didn’t know but absolutely hated just because she existed 😂🤦🏾‍♀️.

OHMAIGOD!!!

Now you’d think, “oh she’d give up after all that,” right? Well… sorry to disappoint you 😅. Wait, before you slap me I didn’t continue to pine over him!
Technically, what I did was just put him at the back of my heart and I guess waited and hoped, thinking something would eventually happen… that he’d see I was the better option.

Again, again, I was 16. I think. Can’t even remember. But I was young sha — so don’t kill me 😂.

Now, how did I handle all of that?
I didn’t. I just grew out of it.

Why did I just embarrass myself with this story? 😭
I don’t know.
But what I can tell you is this: sometimes, the healing we need to do is to just live life and grow up.

Sometimes we go through stuff in life — huge heartbreaks (whether from love or whatever), a huge disappointment, a loss, just something really painful and then people expect you to intentionally go through some deep process to try and get out of that painful phase. But how about sometimes, we just let ourselves live?

Like… let yourself take a breath and live the life that has been given to you. Sometimes it’s easier than having to let yourself feel and deal with the emotions. Sometimes some emotions don’t need to be dealt with — they just need to be lived through. Phased through.

This can be conflicting, because some people may say “oh that’ll turn out to be a source of trauma in the future,” but can you trust that not every bad thing we go through in life becomes a source of trauma just because we phased through it?

Can you trust that I just woke up the next day and decided to live through it?

Granted — it was a very shitty, yet childish love. But it still mattered.

So can we allow ourselves the opportunity this week to just push through without holding on to anything?

For those of you that have been following this blog and our social media handles, you might be wondering what this has to do with the hashtag #SoulfulSunday, right? Well sometimes, it’s not always about romance. It’s not always about the deep-deep feelings we keep hidden inside.

Sometimes, it’s about looking back and saying:
“Damn. I loved through this.”
It’s about reflecting.
It’s about remembering those moments when it felt like “I can’t do this” or “how am I supposed to move on from this?”
It’s about seeing that despite it all, you survived.

Do you have stories you reflect on like this?
Experiences you didn’t even intentionally heal from, you just lived past them?
Send us a DM 📩 or leave a comment 💬 and we’ll reach out.

Hey y’all Welcome to the new phase of Love Matters💕
I’m soooo excited that you’ve decided to come on this journey with us 😍
I say us because some of you may not know this but I have a whole team with meeeeeee 🙌🏾🎉

Like y’all, the community is growinggggggg
Over the course of the week, you’ll get to meet them! But until then, I hope you have a beautiful week full of reflections and healing.

Much much love,
from your favourite love blogger,
Noms Baby 💋

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